Epic Narrator
Epic Narrator is one of the available narrators on the 5-Minute Dungeon Timer App. Dialogue Lines Starting Lines * "Help! I'm trapped inside this app! Tell my wife and kids I love them." * "You have five minutes to defeat this dungeon. Good luck!" * "As your guide to this dungeon, I should warn you that it's very, very spooky in there." * "Are there any dragons in these dungeons?" * "I'm Jon Bailey and I will be your guide on this five-minute adventure! Please fasten your seat belts and put your tray tables in the upright position." * "Are you ready for an epic adventure? Get it - epic? * "Welcome back! Let's get this dungeon started!" * "Alright, listen up, team, we're going into that dungeon and we're killing that baby!" * "You better actually be playing the game and not just listening to my sweet, sexy voice." * "Does anybody know what this button does? Oh, it starts the game." * "Look, I get the Paladin would have access to a Holy Hand Grenade, but where exactly does Valkyrie get one?" * "And now for some of my favorite words: pony, banana, sprinkles." * "Back so soon? Let's dive into this wet and wild dungeon!" Pausing the Timer * "Time paused" * "Time stopped" * "Take a break!" Resuming the Timer * "Timer's back on!" * "Timer is back on!" * "Time resumed" * "Time res'uuu'med" * "Let's get going!" * "Go!" At 4 Minutes * "Only four minutes remain." * "Only four more minutes." * "Four minutes left." * "Four minutes remaining." * "Four minutes to go." At 3 Minutes * "Only three minutes to go." * "Three minutes, you guys." * "There's, like, three minutes until this whole thing goes bad." * "Three minutes left." At 2 Minutes * "Two minutes remaining." * "Two minutes to go." * "Two minutes left." At 1 Minute * "One minute left." * "We need to wrap this up in less than a minute." * "Sixty seconds to go." * "One minute remains." * "No, seriously! Get going! One minute!" * "What are you waiting for? Get moving! One minute left!" At 30 Seconds * "In thirty seconds, you're all losers." * "Thirty, twenty-nine, twenty-eight." * "Thirty seconds until death." * "Thirty seconds until you are dead. Don't worry, I'll be fine." * "Get going, thirty seconds!" * "Get a move on! Thirty seconds left." * "Hurry up already! You only have thirty seconds!" * "Thirty seconds remaining." * "Thirty seconds remain." At 10 Seconds * "This is too close! I can't watch! Oh wait, I can't see you." * "Ten." * "Ten. Seconds. Left. Well, now there's like seven because that took a long time to say." * "Only ten more seconds." * "Only ten more seconds? This is so exciting!" * "Ten. Seconds." If Team Loses * "I'm so disappointed in all of you, especially you, Steve. Get it together, Steve!" * "I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed." * "Man, I thought you were dead for sure. And I was right." * "There are two types of heroes in this dungeon: Those who lived, and you." * "The team lost the game and disappeared never to be heard from again. On the next edition of Unsolved Dungeons." * "There's always next time, unless you're done playing. Then I guess this is goodbye. I'll always remember you." * "Did you do it? Did you win? No, no you did not." * "It was at this point, the heroes realized, they lost." If Team Wins * "You live!" * "You worked together like professionals and made it through the dungeon. (sobs) I am so proud of you kids." * "They entered the dungeon as mere children but emerged fierce killing machines." * "With their handsome and talented narrator to guide them, nothing could stop this team." * "Oh, I'm sorry, I was watching TV. Did you win? Oh, good for you!" * "Did you win? Oh. Good for you! Five gold stars." * "A winner is you." * "Thou art the winner." * "You're alive! Good for you!" * "What perils await the heroes in the next dungeon? Find out next time on 5-Minute Dungeon." * "Hey, you totally made it out alive! Did not see that coming." Category:Narrators Category:5-Minute Dungeon Category:5-Minute Dungeon Timer